Website: Frank Body
Product Category: Face and Body
Price: $14.95 AUD ($16.53 NZD)
Shipping: $4.50 NZD or 2xup – Free
WHEN DID THIS SCANDALOUS AFFAIR BEGIN?
It began like any other day. Trawling through Instagram, sighing at the gorgeous pictures, weeping over the terrifically toned bods of suntanned gods and flexible females. And then a glimpse of brown and pink caught my eye.
Suddenly I was obsessed, spending days poring over this seductive Instagram profile. Who was the mysterious Frank? Why did his ingredients and charming packaging entice me so?
His story resonated deep within me;
“Mostly humble, always caffeinated, naturally derived; and 100% Australian owned and made. I started as a simple coffee scrub, equal parts dirty and loving. Now I’m a growing coffee-based skincare range, because I’ve always said I’ll love every inch of your bod. I do a lot of things, which you’ll soon discover. Importantly, I only test on babes.”
It took all of a week for me to give in to my desires, and secretly purchase the Original Frank Body Scrub in the dead of night.
WHAT DID I THINK OF HIS PERFORMANCE?
He finally came, dressed up in perfectly reusable and air-tight packaging. He asked me undress him, and I obliged immediately, anxious to begin our dirty affair.
He smelt of Sunday morning coffee, energizing and familiar.
We did it in the shower, after I had dampened my skin to allow him to work his magic. He gazed at my body, and promised to fix all my problems; reduce the appearance of cellulite, stretch marks, psoriasis, eczema and other skin conditions. His caffeine-fueled and antioxidant-packed ground coffee goodness stimulated my blood-flow, helping to target free radicals – the things that cause many of those pesky skin conditions.
He personality traits included:
“Coffea Robusta Seed Powder (Coffee), Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Oil, Water (Aqua), Sodium Chloride (Salt), Sucrose (Brown Sugar), Citrus Aurantium Dulcis (Orange) Oil, Tocopherol (Vitamin E), Fragrance (Parfum)*
His rough loving left my normally dry and scaly skin baby-smooth and moisturised.
He was also gentle on my acne-scarred and blemish-prone skin, nurturing my poor face and leaving it feeling clean, and with noticeably less scarring every time we touched (every second day hollaaaaaa).
Thinking Frank isn’t the one for you? Think again. He also comes in different types, just so he can love even more babes:
When you want frank to mingle and tingle with your tired body and weary muscles. Great pre and post workout. Contains native mint extract, olive oil and Aloe Vera. Smells like an after dinner mint.
DID OUR SECRET RELATIONSHIP FINALLY FIZZLE OUT?
You wish babe! Our bond is strong and true. I continue to have rough and dirty massages from Frank, and will repurchase him again…and again….and again.
He’s a lover, and made me feel so so confident in my skin and body, I just can’t get enough!
I might even get to know his friends (you should get to know them too, and let me know how they go);
Make sure to visit the Frank website for more information on ingredients, usage, and just general goodness.
Hope this post has being positively dirty and hellishly helpful 😀